Before marriage, Anouk and I talked about having children. Looking back on the conversations that we had, I remember setting an arbitrary timeline for the expansion of our family – it was almost like a business having a 5-year plan. The plan was as follows:

Year 1 – start with a fish. They are small, contained, and easily replaceable.
Year 2 – have one child. A boy that would grow to be 6’ 9” play in the NBA all the while evangelizing the league and setting up a nice retirement for mom and dad.
Year 3 or 4 – add another child. A girl might be nice this time. She would grow to be a preacher’s wife, know how to play the piano, become proficient in learning her mother’s French so she could translate for Dad.
Year 4 or 5 – gender negotiable. Over the next few years, we might add 1 to 2 more children just in case the first two were a bust.

So, there it was – our plan (ok, maybe with a few embellishments). And things went well according to plan during that first year. We even went above and beyond the plan and added a cat to the family – just to spice things up with the fish. Then came the years 2-5 – no children. It was sometime during Year 2 or 3 that Anouk and I began to think of adoption as an alternative way to have children. But then, over time we stopped looking at adoption as a “second choice” and we started to view adoption as God’s primary plan for us to have children. More on that later.

So, why did we decide to adopt? Four reasons. Let me share them with you:

Reason #1 – We want children. As obvious as that sounds, that is the truth. I want to play basketball with a son or daughter. My wife wants children to whom she can teach the piano and French. I long for the days of a little hand holding mine and, when I look down, that child is mine – not somebody else’s but my child. A large part of my life has been around children. I have had the privilege of ministering to children and I love it. I love seeing children grow; I love the trust and love of a child. But I have always watched that from a distance. I may hold a child on my lap for a short while, but I know that the child belongs to someone else. That child has a Daddy, and it is not me. Granted, there are many times when I am glad that I am not that child’s Daddy, but I think you get the point.

My wife’s desire to have children is greater than I could ever understand. The maternal instinct that God gives women is impossible for men to understand. All I know is that there are many times when I look at my wife while she is holding someone else’s child, I just know her heart is full of joy at that moment, but somehow it is also full of sorrow too. She wants children.

Reason #2 – Discipleship. The idea of God placing a human being into your care is exciting and intimidating at the same time. I know that when God places a child into my care, it will be for one ultimate reason – to teach that child about Him. The only command given in the Great Commission is to make disciples. What better opportunity of discipleship is there than having a disciple living with you? Anouk and I look forward to the challenge of discipling our children everyday while they are in our care. We believe that parenting is more than just teaching a child good manners, how to hit a jump shot or even just trying to keep him out of jail. It is about shaping a child’s life in the fear of the Lord. It is about making God’s name famous to that human. We get to be the ones to introduce Jesus to a human being, how great is that?!

Reason #3 – Adoption reminds us of God’s sovereignty. We recognize that having a child biologically is a reflection of God’s sovereignty. Adoption, however, gives Anouk and me a much more vivid picture. Knowing that God is right now working out the details of bringing a child into our home gives me goose bumps. He is organizing and working a perfect plan. As I type this, my mind thinks: Could it be that our child is born already? Could the birth mother be carrying the child right now? Could she be angry with God for “allowing” her to become pregnant? Could the mother be in turmoil right now trying to decide whether or not to keep the child? Could it be that the parents are alive today planning on caring for this child, but be killed tomorrow, leaving our child an orphan? Who knows? Only God. He is working right now in the biological family and He is preparing right now the home that will train this child. God really is working out all of the details and we are excited.

What really brings excitement, followed by humility, is the fact that God, in His master plan for this child’s life, chose my wife and me to be the primary instructors. God, by His sovereign plan, is causing a life to be conceived in a far off country, a country that has no running water or electricity. This child will have little chance of hearing the Gospel if he or she were to grow up in his or her native country. But God has ordained for two of His children to go and meet this child, bring him or her back to the USA and teach him or her about Himself. That thought alone pushes the giddy excitement aside and brings intense humility. Truly, we are not worthy.

Recognizing God’s sovereign plan has changed the way Anouk and I look at our being barren. The questions like “why can’t we have children?” or “Why us? Why do we have this burden?” have changed to, “Why us? Why do we get this awesome privilege and others do not?” When God closed the womb, it was part of His plan. His plan is always for two purposes, His glory and our good. Jerry Bridges has written, “God never pursues His glory at the expense of the good of His people, nor does He ever seek our good at the expense of His glory. He has designed His eternal purpose so that His glory and our good are inextricably bound together.” (Trusting God pg. 25-26). God’s plan is good and cannot be hindered.

Knowing that God’s plans cannot be hindered will help us along the journey. Today, we started the journey by sending out an application, getting fingerprinted and spending $220. Already we could have concerns – the police officer didn’t know which form to use for our fingerprints, so we could have the right fingerprints on the wrong cards! If that is true, then the process will be delayed slightly – no worries though, God is sovereign. Anouk and I will not miss out on getting the child He has for us.

Reason #4 – Adoption reminds us of our relationship with God. The Bible is clear that if we are a child of God’s, it is only because He adopted us. Not every human being is in God’s family. Only those whom He chooses to adopt and place into His family can be a part of His family. There is nothing anyone can do to make God choose him. It is God who has to initiate the relationship, He has to cause the relationship to become a reality and He has to sustain the relationship. To a small degree, so it is with our adopting a child.

There is a child someplace in this world whom we believe God has for us. We are going to go find that child. We will start in Liberia and if God closes that door, we will go elsewhere. And wherever that child is, he or she has no idea that we are looking for him or her. This child (if already born) is concerned about one person – himself. Sound familiar? Before God drew me to Himself, I was concerned about one person – me. God sought me out and made it possible for me to join His family – a family I have no right being a part of. Anouk and I will seek a child and make it possible for that child to join our family – a family they have no right being a part of, but a family that would love nothing more than for him / her to be a part of it.

There you have it – why we are adopting. I am sure that we could think of more reasons, but these are the main ones that are driving us. Please pray with us as we begin this journey. Please pray that we will follow God’s direction and that we will be actively preparing to train up a child. Please rejoice with us that God is sovereign and that He is working out all things to glorify Himself.

By His grace,

Jeremy & Anouk

“This is the Lord’s doing; it is marvelous in our eyes.” ~ Psalm 118:23

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