(11) First Full Day as New Parents!
December 10, 2007
SlideshowMONDAY: We woke up on this morning around 5:30 because that's how Mattix rolls. This is the beginning of the end of my 1:00 a.m. until 7:30 a.m. sleep schedule. I'm pretty sure that the 1:00 a.m. bedtime will stick around, but not so much the 7:30 a.m. wakeup time. Mattix woke up happy and played with his toys. We gave him a bath, which he didn't mind at all (we took lots of video, and if we ever figure out how to embed it, you'll see how cute he was), and got him dressed. Ed and I prayed that we didn't leave with bed bugs or foot fungus (seriously, I packed everything under the sun EXCEPT for shower shoes), and we went to breakfast. We ate at a restaurant right across the street from the ocean. It was very nice (I think it was aimed towards tourists) but the food wasn't nearly as good as the other places we ate yesterday. Welcome to mommyhood for me. I held Mattix, staring at my food, while Ed ate. God knows I can't have food in front of my face that's not entering my mouth, especially when I haven't eaten in 24 hours, so I told Ed (who was leisurely taking bites in between sips of coffee) that if he didn't start shoveling, his "turn" was going to end. I had enough time to eat about half of my bowl of pho. I really hope Ed enjoyed his entire omelet, baguette, and cup of coffee. Today was the G&R - the Giving and Receiving - Ceremony. That's when the adoption become official under Vietnamese law (it's not official with the U.S. until a Visa is issued). The ceremony is quite short and to the point. A government official speaks about the importance of making sure Mattix knows his heritage, another official speaks for a moment, the orphanage director says a few words, and the adoptive parents make a "speech." Only one of us was allowed/required to speak; Ed went ahead and took the floor. Perhaps I should have thought twice about that - we all know how Ed likes to talk!!! Apparently Ed's going to be a busy, busy man. He pledged that Mattix will know his birth country, be proud of where he was born, and that we would bring him back to tour the Vietnam when he was old enough to understand and appreciate it. He also promised to send lots of post-placement reports and photos. These were all things we've talked about frequently and agree are very important. Then Ed went crazy. He said that Mattix was going to learn Vietnamese. Huh? Really? 'Cause we can barely pronounce Mattix's Vietnamese name and birth province. I guess Ed's going to be at ASU for about ten hours a week for the next ten years, 'cause he's planning to teach Mattix Vietnamese. I'm all for it, really, but good luck with that one. Mattix was quite vocal during the ceremony. I think he even laughed at Ed when he mentioned that whole learning Vietnamese thing. I had to keep bouncing him up and down so that he would laugh and make happy sounds, rather than having him sit on my lap because that made him scream. I was a little worried because one of the officials didn't seem to pleased with the whole noisy baby situation, but I did what I could (the other two were smiled a lot and didn't seem to mind). Hey, I had just changed by first diaper in ten years less than 12 hours ago. I have no idea how to make a baby that doesn't even understand me stop squealing. After the ceremony, we headed back for Saigon. The ride down was fascinating and amazing. The ride home was a little long and difficult, being that we were taking with us a baby that didn't really know us. Mattix would not sit still. I guess I'm being punished for making fun of Ed's ADD! He had to be in constant motion for most of the ride. He would become so exhausted he would fuss and moan, but wouldn't hold still enough to sleep. I finally held him against me, wrapped him in a blanket, and made him stay there until he nodded off. That only took an hour. He slept for about 45 minutes, then woke up. A few hours later, we again went through the routine again and he fell asleep after another hour. Of course, we got to lunch 45 minutes after that. Um, yeah, I'm moving to Vietnam. First of all, I've lost about five pounds in the last few days (I fully realize that it's mostly lean muscle loss, but still, I'm going with it. Don't burst my bubble). I now understand why Americans are heavy and the Vietnamese are so petite. Sure, their bone structure is small, but as a whole, they are much thinner than we are. Here's my theory, because I know you're dying to hear it. It's a combination of four things.
- First, the damn chopsticks. Really, how can you ever get anything in your mouth with two wooden sticks? You can't. Well, maybe some of you can, but I can't. I have horrible dexterity and I'm beginning to think rather limited fine motor skills. I'm not going to be the stupid American that asks for a fork while I'm here, so chopsticks it is. I get about 20% of the food in my mouth at any given meal.
- Second, the portion sizes. Besides gobs of rice, the other things are reasonably sized. It prevents one form shoving everything under the sun down one's gullet.
- Third, the type of food. It's pretty simple and contains limited, normal ingredients. Real Vietnamese food isn't filled with crap additives, fillers, and preservatives.
- Fourth, it's about 200 degrees here with 400% humidity (and it's December for God's sake; I can't even imagine the "hot" season). When you're constantly sweating like a pig, trying not to pass out, you think little about eating and have a limited appetite.
Okay, back to the reasons I'm moving here. I can actually eat at a lot of places. Food isn't filled with gluten because most things are rice based. I can eat so much. It's wonderful to be able to go to a restaurant and not have to worry that I'm going to go home vomiting because my food is contaminated with gluten. I've eaten lots of rice, noodles, and things wrapped in rice paper. Yum! Again, because of the limited additives (e.g., artificial and natrual flavors), I don't have to be so careful that I sit at dinner at watch everyone else eat because I'm afraid of what I'm putting in my mouth (not that it hurts me to do that. I talk like I can't afford to miss a meal!). Also, my blood sugars are awesome, even a little on the low side (much better than the high side). Ed and I were talking about it and he suggested the humidity may have something to do with that. I think he's correct, because for the entire three years we lived in California (a block from the ocean) while I was in law school, I had great A1Cs despite the things I was dealing with at the time. CA is not nearly as humid as VN, but it is certainly a lot more humid than Arizona. And the main reason I want to live here is a very important one. It actually conflicts with my plans to stay here until I reach size double zero, but that's okay because it's so great. While you're eating, it's not at all uncommon for a female employee of the restaurant to come take your baby and wander around with him while you eat. I kid you not. I had read about it, but I didn't fully appreciate it until it happened at lunch today. I was sitting there, watching Ed eat (I'm getting good at that), staring at my plate of rice and a piece of fried pork that looked amazing, when a woman came up, held out her arms and said, "Baby?" Hell yeah, take the baby! Are you kidding? Mommy's hungry! I handed Mattix to her; he was of course happy to go to her. He's obviously familiar with Vietnamese people and the language much more than he is with Ed and I, so he was very much at ease. I'm being flip, but I did know that this happens and you just roll with it. Can you imagine if that happened at home? If someone tried to take my baby, I'd punch them in the face and call the cops. Here, it's cultural and probably impolite to refuse. Ed and I discussed it ahead of time and both agreed that it was important for us on our entire trip not to be the typical rude Americans (in every respect). Once we're home, we can't just hand Mattix to whomever because we have to work very hard to develop a bond with him. However, we recognize that during these two weeks, we have to be flexible. I'm going to be spoiled when we return home. We're gonna be eating at Red Robin (isn't that the only restaurant you're allowed to eat with kids, besides Chuckee Cheese, which doesn't really count as a restaurant?) and I'll be looking around yelling, "Who's going to take the baby?! I need to eat my burger! Someone take the baby!" Anyway, shortly after she took him, the next thing that I knew would happen happened. She came back and said, "Pants?" Yup, here you wrap your kids up like it's snowing, even though it's 250 degrees outside. I had stripped him down to his onesie after the G&R because we ("we" being the Americans) were sweating like pigs. For the love of God, I had a layer of oil, sweat, and makeup dripping off my face, down my chest and back. My thinking was that if I was in that bad of shape, the poor baby must have been miserable with that rash all over his body, festering in a layer of sweat under his clothes. I even paused for a second before we got out of the van, considering putting his pants and socks on, but low and behold, I didn't. Well, Ed got to run to the van, grab Mattix's pants and socks, and dress him up like we dress for the middle of winter in AZ. Lesson learned; I won't try to be sneaky again. Enough about me. We got back to the hotel at about 5:00 and dropped off the other couple who also adopted their son from KG. Ed wanted to have four or five suits made by a tailor here in VN, where the cost of one entire suit, custom made to fit from incredible Italian material, is less than half the cost of a pair of suit pants from a retail store in the states. It would cost ten times as much per suit to have something comparable made at home. Anyway, in order to have them finished by the time we leave for Hanoi, we had to go make the selections and have him fitted tonight, even though we were exhausted. Thuy took us to the tailor that she apparently uses for the adoptive families who want suits. He was an older gentleman, very appreciative, and accommodating. It wasn't a shop at all. Rather, an open space smaller than my master bedroom closet right off an alley. Really, I'm being honest. We felt very rushed, which we learned later was because we were apparently in a very bad neighborhood. I guess Thuy didn't tell us that so as not to upset us, but she kept things rolling. So much so that when we were finished, we didn't get to stand on the sidewalk and wait for our driver. Oh no, we literally took off speed walking down the sidewalk, got to dodge a million motor bikes, vans and trucks as we ran across three streets in some sort of six-way street situation, and then ran down the center median. I had Mattix in the Baby Bjorn and was about to crap my pants. He was really into the whole thing. For being in an orphanage for his entire life, he sure rolls with the punches. He was really digging the bouncing, screaming horns, and me yelling (once again) "Hail to God. Don't let me die here. My body is going be flattened by motor bikes." Finally, Thuy said, "Hurry, here." The van's sliding door flew open and we had two seconds to jump in. Thuy wasn't even all the way in when we took off. She had to use all 80 pounds of her body weight to get the door to shut as we drove away. Crazy stuff, but hey, Ed's going to have his suits by Sunday. That's what matter, right? After we got to the room, we were exhausted. Ed was hungry so we headed to the Rooftop for dinner. I didn't even bother ordering because I knew better than to think I might actually have a chance to eat. All the servers were male, so I knew nobody was going to hook us up with the free babysitting service. Plus, I was so tired I wasn't hungry. And here's how you know Ed and I were offically first time parents. Our conversation is as follows: Me: What did we bring for the baby?
Ed: Huh?
Me: What did we bring for the baby?
Ed: What do you mean?
Me: Don't you think Mattix might be hungry or thirsty?
Ed: I guess, yeah, maybe.
Me: And what about something to play with?
Ed: Yeah, he might need that.
Me: I'll be right back (slinking off to room, ashamed, to get some stuff, you know, like food, a bottle, a bib, and a few toys). And there you have our first full day with Mattix. We're very, very tired, a little overwhelmed, but unbelievably overjoyed to have this little baby become a part of our family. We couldn't be any luckier to parent him. He's precious, adorable (sorry, but he is), and an amazing baby. His short ten months of life have been difficult and full of loss for him. I hope and pray that we're able to be the kind of parents that he needs to thrive.
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